


Wonderwall

by funnymorning



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Non-AU (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-03
Updated: 2013-02-03
Packaged: 2017-11-28 01:51:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/668901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnymorning/pseuds/funnymorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn and Louis, getting into trouble and growing old and growing up, falling in and out of love. </p><p> </p><p>And back in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wonderwall

It was August 2013, in the middle of their US Summer Tour when things ended. Louis couldn’t say he didn’t see it coming. Things changed. People grew apart. But still, when he got home to London, the apartment seemed too big with the empty space on the shelf where Eleanor’s textbooks used to be, the empty drawers in their…his wardrobe, the cold left side of the bed. Harry moved back in before they left for their Australian tour and Louis appreciated it. He appreciated everything the boys had done for him. He gave Harry his first genuine smile in weeks when he popped down into Louis’ bed at 2 in the morning with the Breakfast Club DVD and a tub of Ben and Jerry. He hugged Liam tightly after he brought Louis out for sky diving one night – just the two of them with no words exchanged except wind rushing in their ears. He laughed harder than he had ever done in the past few weeks when he, Niall and Stan went down to a relatively empty park for a quick footie and he and Stan whipped Niall’s ass.

So when Zayn strolled into his apartment, opened up his fridge like he owns the place to eat the last pudding Louis had bought and asked him if he wanted to get dinner together that night, Louis smiled and told him they don’t need to be on rotational watch duty for Louis. He was fine. He would be. But Zayn guilt tripped him into going anyway, saying they hadn’t hanged out in a long time, just the two of them, which is ridiculous because they were on the same tour just two weeks ago. But Louis agreed anyway.

They decided to go to Blue Moon instead of Ivy because reservations were tight and they didn’t really want to deal with paps. It was just their luck that Katy Perry and her new beau were also at the Blue Moon that night and the place was crawling with paps. They posed for a few pictures, let them take pictures of them leaving in the black van and wasn’t even surprised when #zouisdate started trending on twitter.

The thing with Zayn and Louis is they get each other and not in a “Harry gets Louis because best friend” kind of way. They were both brought up in middle class families with little money to spare and too many females around. They were “those bad kids” at school – the ones who kept getting into a fight, who kept skipping class, and who tripped juniors in school hallways. Even from the beginning of X-Factor, they gelled so easily because they are the kind of boys they would find in school and became quick friends with.

And that’s why Louis loved hanging out with Zayn. They can say the stupidest shits that other boys will roll their eyes at. They ran around wild pulling random pranks that no one finds hilarious except for them. It is not that the other boys are not fun to be around. It is just that Zayn got Louis in a way very few people did.

So, obviously, no one but them two (okay, one of their security guys did laugh) found it funny when Louis pulled out his phone and tweeted **_“Had an absolutely lovely dinner. :)”_** , followed by Zayn’s **_“So, it is true. Love is friendship set on fire ;) !! xxx”_**.

They were pretty sure they made twitter exploded but they could care less as Louis pulled Zayn into his flat and started going through the liquor cabinet. Zayn pulled a sleeping Harry out of his bed because what kind of a 19-year-old sleep at 10 PM, especially on holiday? Liam was sleeping over at Danielle’s and Niall was out partying somewhere because Sean was in town. So just the three of them tried to pull off the best party they could with three bags of chips and two tequila bottles plus a half gone vodka bottle. Louis planned to put “buy alcohol” on his grocery list if he could remember it the next day.

They drank, turned the music volume up until they were sure the walls were shaking (or it could be their drunk mind talking), ate half of the chips and threw the other half at each other and practically made Louis’ living room a hellhole place for his cleaner the next day. It was stupid. It was lame but it was also the most fun Louis had remembered having in a long time.

Drake’s “Say what’s real” was playing in the background and Zayn made sure he put his hands on the other two boys’ mouths when his favorite part came. “Always said I’d say it all on the right track but in this game you only lose when you fight back.”

“Man, these lyrics are like so deep.” Zayn slurred. “I should totally tweet this.”

He fumbled around for his phone while Louis and Harry started throwing the fake decorative fruits on the table to the wall. They started giggling like lunatics when the fake pear Harry threw bounced off the plasma screen hanged on the wall. “Oh shit. I broke it!” Harry said between fits of laughter as Louis lied down on the sofa, still laughing.

“Guys. Guys. Look at this. Look.” Zayn crossed over to the sofa where Louis was lying and sat down right between Louis’ spread legs. He shoved his phone into Louis’ face who took it and read the tweet Zayn was showing loudly.

**_sugarscape: @zaynmalik But the question is did you go in for tea when you drop Louis off? ;) #zouisdate_ **

“Why am I not surprised?” Louis said and tossed the phone back to Zayn. “We should totally order Chinese man. Ginger chicken sounds good right now.”

“And some fried rice.” Zayn agreed and started dialing the take-away restaurant number.

“Why isn’t there a take-away store for alcohol?” Louis moaned as he looked despondently at the half filled tequila bottle. “We should go out and buy some.”

“Paul will kill us.” Harry said from where he is lying on the floor. The rug was more comfortable than it looked.

“I have a few beers at mine.” Zayn said as he hanged up.

“Fuck beer.” Louis said at the same time as Zayn said “Harry, you twat.”

“What?” Louis asked, bewildered as Harry started snickering. Zayn handed him the phone where Harry’s latest tweet was opened.

**_Harry_Styles: @sugarscape he did but not for tea_ **

“Sneaky little chap, aren’t you?” Louis gave a half-hearted smack to Harry’s face and pulled out his own phone.

**_Louis_Tomlinson: @Harry_Styles @sugarscape it was for ice cream._ **

It wasn’t even two minutes before Zayn’s tweet went up.

**_zaynmalik: @Louis_Tomlinson and it was some delicious ice cream too aha!!! :D_ **

_Fifteen Minutes later:-_

“On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being that time when Zayn brought back a hooker to our hotel - ” Harry started as he dug into the fried pork ribs that were just delivered.

“I didn’t know she was a hooker!” Zayn protested but Harry ignored him.

“ – how mad do you think is Paul gonna be tomorrow?”

“7?” Louis shrugged. “He’d been giving me free pass lately.”

“Nice. We’ll ride your coattails then.” Zayn said and put his fingers stained with gravy into his mouth. It was disgusting and Louis put on a fake mad face when Zayn pretended to wipe his dirty finger on the couch.

People kept telling Louis to give it time and things will go back to the way they were before and he was actually starting to believe it.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Liam’s grandparents had this little cottage in Bilston, a village about two miles from Wolverhampton that no one from media knew about and the boys went down there to spend a week. Part of it was because they were tired of dealing with paps every day in London and part of it was because they hadn’t hanged out in a long time – just them, no security, no stylists and wardrobe people, no fans, no media, no cameras following them around. Harry can run around naked all he wants. Niall didn’t have to worry about their security telling him to stop nose picking and burping every now and then. Louis could swear freely and Liam…well, Liam could be just Liam like always.

Zayn took his family out to Bali a few days ago because for all of his teasing about Louis being a momma’s boy, he is an even bigger one. Louis planned to take his family to Miami but Lottie’s A levels were coming up and his mom didn’t want any distraction for her especially since she is the academic one of the family. They saw a few photos of Zayn and his family at the airport but luckily, there had been no further pap pictures. Or it could be because the cottage doesn’t have wifi and they didn’t really do anything about it. They can text and call their families and friends and if anything important, their management will just send someone down here so there is no problem not being connected to the world. Actually, it was a blessing to forget all the things happening around them and be the normal teenage lads that they were for a while.

They did miss Zayn but it’s not like they hadn’t been talking to him on the phone so it wasn’t that bad. They lazed around, watched lame horror films all days, played football in the evening and ate nothing but horrible junk food that they would have to go to gym later for a whole month. It was amazing.

Zayn was already back at their complex when the relaxed week was over and they got back to London. They hogged onto him, gave him sloppy moist kisses and rolled around on the floor like a pile of eager puppies. Paul said nothing had changed.

Later, Zayn was showing them a 2GB card full of photos he took in Bali on his computer and when Louis sat down between Zayn’s spread legs on the couch, his back flat against Zayn’s chest, no one said anything. It is comfortable; it is usual; it is safe; it is them. So, when Zayn pressed his head next to Louis’ and put his arms around Louis’ waist, Louis just smiled and made fun of Zayn’s scrawny arms in the photo.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Australia was as crazy as they remembered. The fans waiting outside their hotel almost crashed them and Paul’s face was red with frustration after Niall and Harry had decided to go out on the balcony and pretended to jump over into the crowd.

Louis always said Australian interviews were his favorite because they had absolutely no filter and he liked to see how far people would go. That impression, however, didn’t last long when, during the second interview they did for the day, the interviewer asked about his break up and whether he is looking for an Australian beau to patch his heart up. He put on his best fake smile and told her that he was not looking for a relationship right now and that it is too soon, hoping that she understood he wasn’t really willing to talk about it. His subtle attempts were nullified when she continued, “Does that mean you are still not over – ”

“I thought we went out on a date, Loueeeehh.” Zayn said from where he was sitting at the rightmost couch and everyone’s attention turned to him. “Killing me.”

“I told you Zayn,” Louis said with a smile. “I am not interested. It was just a pity date.”

“Ouch.” The interview commented with a laugh as Zayn fake sobbed into Liam’s shoulder.

“Now, you made him cry.” Liam gave Louis an angry face and it didn’t take longer than a second before Louis ran across the room to sit down on the arms of the couch and pulled Zayn into his chest.

“I didn’t mean it.” He petted Zayn’s hair, intentionally flattening it and Zayn smacked his hand away.

“I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. You asked me on a date.”

“Well, romance is rising in One Direction then!” The interviewer said and Louis gave her a radiant smile even if it is a fake one. Her attention turned to Harry’s last night partying shenanigans soon and Louis quickly pulled Zayn into a hug and whispered “Thanks.”

Zayn just smiled and said, “Anytime, babe” and scooted over a little so Louis can sit down beside him for the rest of the interview.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

Liam had the patience of a fucking saint. Louis thought idly as he pulled down his sunglasses onto his face and soaked up the sun. He couldn’t believe they were big enough to get a private beach on their own but he was really enjoying the silence. Of course, as silent as it can get with Harry and Niall playing Frisbee two feet away from him and Liam teaching Zayn how to surf.

“Oi. Lazy boy, throw us the Frisbee!” Harry shouted as the said object dropped next to where Louis was sunbathing. Louis just put up a middle finger in the air and plugged in his earphones. He knew Harry came to pick up the Frisbee when a bucket full of sand fell onto his naked chest.

“Fuck you Styles!” He shouted as he sat down and shook the sand off of his body, which was difficult since he had sun cream on and the sand is now sticking to his chest. He saw Zayn pulling off his wet suit and walking towards him, his black tattoos on the bronze skin standing out clearly.

“What? Liam gave up already?”

“Shut up.” Zayn mumbled as he laid down on the towel next to Louis. “I decided surfing is not as fun as everyone makes it out to be.”

“Sour grapes.” Louis sing-songed and laughed as Zayn gave him a dirty look. “Aww..c’mon. I’m just kidding. You have to be bad at something right?”

“Yeah, else I am too perfect.”

“See if I say anything nice about you again jerk.” Louis said and waved his hand to Liam who was out in the sea with his surfboard.

“Bullshit. I know you loooovvvveeee me.” Zayn drawled and pulled Louis down back on the towel before tickling his belly.

“Zayn! Fuck. No, asshole. Stop it.” Louis shivered and tried to kick Zayn off his body. “I will put Nair in your shampoo, I swear to god.”

“Like you would.” Zayn snorted but let go of Louis and lied down next to him. “You can’t bear to see me without my amazing hair.”

“Yeah, you will be too ugly.” Louis yawned. “If you are gonna stay here, shut up. I am trying to sleep.”

“Ok.” Zayn muttered and put in the earphones Louis had just put down and grabbed Louis’ iPod to find a song he liked.

“I was going to listen to it.” Louis muttered but Zayn just shrugged, put off one earpiece and shoved it into Louis’ ear. _More than a Feeling_ came on and Louis closed his eyes. He felt the heat radiating from Zayn’s body half draped over his until he felt asleep.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“Bet you twenty you won’t push Harry into that foam pool.” Louis whispered into Zayn’s ear over the thumping beat of dance music echoing in the club.

“Twenty? You are so cheap.” Zayn snorted and took another sip of his beer.

“Fine. Back massages for three days.” Louis said again and Zayn raised an eyebrow.

“Why don’t you do it yourself if you want to see Harry wet with foam so much?”

“John will kill me.”

“Real nice Louis. Feed me to the lions, why don’t ya?” Zayn drawled and blatantly checked out the blonde girl that walked past him in her six inch heels. Louis squashed down the weird feelings in his stomach.

“Come on.” Louis moved from where he was standing next to Zayn to directly in front of him. He had a couple of beers in him and his head was light enough to don’t give a fuck about things he would normally care about. “Don’t make me pull my puppy face.” He put his hands on Zayn’s which were holding the beer bottle and said seriously.

“I am immune to your puppy face.”

“Lies.” Louis batted his eyelashes rapidly and made sure his lower lip was sticking out in an exaggerated pout. Zayn half-snorted, half-laughed and bopped Louis’ lower lip with his index finger.

“You can make people do the crazies shits, can’t you?” He said in a resigned tone.

“Only you.” Louis gave him a toothy smile and took the beer from his hand to take a sip. “Go on then.”

“Fine,” Zayn sighed and got up from his stool. “But massages for five days.”

“Four.”

“Deal.”

They fist-bumped and Louis sniggered as Zayn hunched his way over to Harry who was currently dancing next to a red-headed girl. They all wanted to dive into the foam pool when they got here but the two security guys they came with said no.

“What is he doing?” John, one of the security guys, asked Louis as Zayn interrupted the girl and Harry and led Harry nearer to the pool.

“Something not good,” Louis answered solemnly. “Why don’t you go and check it out?”

John was halfway through the crowd when Zayn suddenly pushed Harry into the pool and ran back to the bar among the thong of people. It immediately caused a chaos with girls jumping into the pool and their security guys trying frantically to see where Harry is among the wet bodies and foams flying all over the club.

Louis couldn’t stop giggling even when Zayn got back to the bar and smacked him on the head. “Satisfied? I am gonna get into so much trouble later.”

“The things you do for me.” Louis said with a cheeky smile but Zayn responded him a barely-there smile, his eyes shining like two crystals under the neon lights. “Yeah, the things I’d do for you.” Louis felt his heart caught in his throat. On a split second decision, he put his beer down, grabbed Zayn’s hand and ran towards the back exit.

“Where are we going?” Zayn asked as Louis pushed open the back door and pulled him through the back alley. They found their way through people smoking and making out and Zayn was pretty sure the couple in the corners were having sex against the wall.

“Let’s party for real!” Louis turned and gave Zayn a heart-breaking smile before flagging a taxi down.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————-

They got mobbed in the first club they went into and the girls in the queue for the second one went crazy when they spotted Louis and Zayn approaching the security guards of the club.

“It sucks.” Louis said as he kicked a stray Pepsi can on the ground. “What is the point of being the world’s biggest pop star if you can’t even party properly?”

“C’mon, we were partying. You are the crazy one who decided to run away from the club.”

“We partied with our securities standing behind us and warning us every time we tried to do something fun and crazy.” Louis complained. “When was the last time you did something crazy, Zayn?”

“Well, I just pushed Harry Styles into a foam pool.” Zayn raised an eyebrow. “And you ran around our hotel in your pajamas this morning. I’d say we have enough quotas on being crazy.”

“I didn’t even go to other floors!” Louis said petulantly. “And you are boring.”

“Is it that bad?” Zayn said, his hands gliding over from where they were resting on Louis’s shoulder to his waist. “Hanging out with me? I mean, let’s just do something quiet and fun. Just the two of us. Do you really need other people around?”

Louis felt his skin tingle where Zayn’s hand was slightly rubbing slowly circles and he smiled to the ground. “No. No, I don’t.”

They ended up at a sports field. They found an abandoned football and tried to play one-against-one but soon ditched the game because Louis kept scoring against Zayn’s pathetic skills. Zayn spotted a 24/7 McDonalds not far from the field and went off to buy both of them a big Mac and Oreo Mcflurries.

The grass they were sitting on was making Louis’ bum itch and the humid air was a bit stifling. But nothing had ever been more perfect as they both ignored the 11 missed calls and several messages on the phones and turned them off while sitting under the dimly lit lamp post to eat their burgers. Louis didn’t even act mad when Zayn stole half of his fries after he finished his.

“Glad we changed some Australian money this morning.” Louis said as they threw their fast food bags into the rubbish bin and headed towards the road. It was 3 in the morning and he felt like he was gonna drop dead on his feet. He had no idea how he would get up next morning for that 10 AM radio interview.

“C’mon. I saw a taxi stand near that McDonalds.” Zayn said and they walked over to the taxi stand. They had to wait a good 30 minutes before a taxi finally came and Louis spent a good portion of the waiting time sleeping on Zayn’s shoulder.

“Sorry,” he grimaced at the pool of drool he left on Zayn’s jacket as Zayn shook him awake when the taxi arrived.

“Don’t worry about it,” Zayn smiled and took out a tissue to wipe it away. “Come on, sleepy head. Time to go back.”

They knew they were in a shit load of trouble when the first thing they saw when they went out of their taxi was Paul walking back and forth in front of the entrance.

“WHERE.HAVE.YOU.BEEN? Four hours boys! Goddamn it. I was this close to calling the police.”

“Sorry,” Louis shrugged. “We are fine.”

“Yeah, and why did you both turn off your phones for?”

“Paul, please.” Zayn said. “We really, really want to sleep. Can we do this whole you are in trouble lecture thing tomorrow?”

“Fine. But you are both grounded for the rest of the Aussie tour. Don’t argue. If I call your moms, you know it will be worse.”

“Who pissed in your bed?” Louis muttered as Paul led them towards the elevator.

“Some idiot named Louis Tomlinson. Now, go into your room. Don’t wander off and you’d better be up when I came knocked on your doors in 5 hours. I have to go and inform the management that you idiots are back.”

“Love you too, Paul.” Louis blew him a kiss as he and Zayn turned the corner to their respective room. “Look like we are in trouble.”

“You think?” Zayn said and stood still as they reached Louis’ door first. “But it was worth it, right?”

“Yeah, it was.” Louis agreed and fumbled into his pockets for the room key.

“Does this…” Zayn’s grip on Louis’ hand stopped him from opening the door. “Can this count as a second date?”

And just like that, everything was real again. The beating of his heart, the flutters in his stomach, the stupid little voice in his head, the feelings he had been ignoring for quite a while. Louis felt like he had missed a step when going down a staircase. His heart dropped into his stomach and he could feel the blood pumping on his wrist where Zayn’s grip was tight.

“Do you want it to?” He asked back, his voice low but echoing in the empty hallway.

Zayn’s hand slipped into Louis. He looked down at their joint hands and rubbed his thumb over Zayn’s blunt fingernails. “What if I say I want to?” Zayn asked back. They were close now. Louis can felt Zayn’s hips aligning with his own and his heat almost surrounding his body. He is sure he’d be gazing right into Zayn’s face if he looked up. So he didn’t. “Will this change anything?”

“Haven’t you noticed, Zayn?” Louis smiled and brought up his other hand to feel the leather texture of Zayn’s black jacket. “Things had already changed.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Things hadn’t really changed on the surface. They still played around with each other and other boys, joked about being each other’s date in the interviews and it was still them. But Louis felt a new kind of electricity when Zayn pulled him close to whisper on stage or when he put his arms around Louis in a photo shoot or when their feet knocked against each other in an interview. It was the stupidest little things that made him feel all weird inside and it would get worse when he looked at Zayn at those moments and saw the passion reflecting in his eyes.

They had been hanging out with Liam most of the times because they were grounded for the rest of the tour and Liam didn’t usually go out with Harry and Niall. But they would stay inside their room when Liam went away for his religious gym hours. They would flirt, touch each other in subtle innocent ways but never went beyond that. No one had found the courage to ask what it really was. So they convinced themselves that stolen glances and elusive touches were enough.

Until they weren't any more.

It was the end of the tour. Louis was packing some clean clothes before he went back to his mom’s house for about three weeks before they had a meeting with Simon on what their next move was. It was either Asia tour first or the third album. Zayn would be going back to Bradford a day later and Harry was already in Cheshire. Niall and Liam were on vacation together with their families because Danielle was currently on tour in Sweden.

He barely registered the front door slamming before Zayn barged into the bedroom. He even forgot that he had given Zayn a key to his flat. His greetings were cut short when Zayn slammed him into the wall and kissed him until he couldn’t breathe. Mouths and hands and tongues and bodies rubbing against each other and Louis felt drunk. He held onto Zayn long after their lips had parted, their breaths mingling with each other.

“What was that for?” Louis asked when he regained his breath.

“I don’t know.” Zayn leaned his forehead against Louis’. “I just…I was just reheating the pizza and then I suddenly realized I won’t be seeing you for like a month and shit…that suddenly hits me and I just had to do that.”

“Reheating the pizza? Really, Zayn? You are so romantic.”

“Shut up. I ran in here like a goddamn 80’s movie character and swept you off the floor with my kiss. How is that not romantic?”

Louis smiled and Zayn leaned in to kiss him again. It was strange, the feel of the fizzy stubble against his own, the rough muscles on Zayn’s back and the cologne on Zayn’s body that definitely smelled male. It was weird and awkward and nothing Louis had ever experienced before. And he couldn’t get enough of it.

During the next three and a half weeks, Louis drove down the one-hour drive from Doncaster to Bradford three times, each time sleeping over at Zayn’s for a few nights. His mom thought it was weird how he kept going to Bradford but she didn’t commented and neither did Zayn’s family. Louis felt like he was 14 and falling in love all over again. In a way it was because this was new. The curves on Zayn’s body are new. The feel of hot muscles rubbing against him is new. All the kisses and touches are new and Louis felt like every atom of his being was on fire.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

They managed to keep it for themselves for about a week when they got back to London. They had decided that they would do an Asian tour first while their team here started scouting for their third album. They were given a grace period of two and a half weeks to rehearse for their MSG performance while their tour team were sorting out the arrangement.

It was perfect. Days spent indoors while the snow fell outside, the scent of lavender air freshener that Zayn’s cleaner used tingling their nostrils and the warm heat from the radiator surrounding them. Hours spent in the games’ room, fingered entangled as the consoles were abandoned and mouths were joined. Winter nights spent entangled between the sheets, thighs apart and bodies slicked with sweat even though it was minus degree outside. Hands all over each other and words of love whispered and bitten to leave marks on their necks and bodies. Whimpers and groans and endless sounds of pleasures. Bodies trembling like this could be the end of the world and they would never let go of each other.

It was everything Louis wanted and more and he was pretty sure Zayn wanted the same.

And then, Liam noticed.

Things between Zayn and Louis didn’t really change their relationships with the other boys. Liam was still one of their best friends and could read them like an open book. So, when Liam confronted them, they didn’t deny it. Because they were the best of friends and there was no use hiding it from Liam or Harry or Niall.

The boys were not jumping with joy. They couldn’t say they were shocked but they weren’t expecting it either. Niall asked them if they were serious about this and they said yes, they were happy and they were together and that’s all that mattered. And Niall seemed satisfied. Harry joked that Zayn was taking away Larry Stylinson and Zayn didn’t even blink when Louis shouted “No. Larry Stylinson forever!” and jumped on Harry to pretend-make-out. Nothing had changed really.

Liam smiled as the scene unfolded in front of him but he couldn’t shake off the nagging feeling in the back of his head. The little voice that was telling him that if things go wrong with Louis and Zayn, it could take down the whole group dynamics they had built over the past three years but he ignored it. What might or might not happen in the future is not as important as his boys. He assured himself as he watched Zayn watching Louis wrestling with Harry on the floor.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

They went down to New York for their Madison Square Garden performance on Christmas and brought their immediate families down with them to spend the Christmas and New Year there before they kicked off their Asian tour. Louis and Zayn planned to tell their mums during the Christmas about them. Louis had a speech recited in his head and everything.

And it turned out that they didn’t need to.

They had had some shady security people in the past. Some took money from the fans and helped them sneaked into the hotel. Some dropped hints with the paps to the boys’ whereabouts for a fee. But they hadn’t imagined that one of them would actually dare to film Louis and Zayn making out in their room and sell it to People. They should have closed the door but they had rented out the whole floor of the hotel for just the five of them with their families one floor down and their securities two. They were as careless and foolish as they always had been but this time, it didn’t end up well.

The video and screen captures hit the internet and the public before the night ended despite Simon’s best attempts to retain them. The security guy was fired and threatened of lawsuit but it wouldn’t change anything. Not after the youtube video that People posted had gotten more than 10,000 views within two hours. Not after five of the worldwide trending topics were about Zayn and Louis and three of them managed to stay on for more than four hours. Everyone connected to them was bombarded with tweets and phone calls and messages.

“I think you broke twitter.” Louis’ mom said from the door and Louis immediately stood up from the couch where he was lying beside Zayn. He didn’t dare go down and face their families. They knew they had to but they kept delaying it. The shit had hit the fan about five hours ago and they were still confined in their hotel room, not even coming out at the boys’ plead.

“Mom. I…”

“Zayn, can I speak with Lou please?”

“Yeah, yeah. Of course.” Zayn stood up and almost ran out of the room, but not before squeezing Louis’ hand in assurance.

“Your mom’s waiting downstairs. You should probably go see her because she's quite upset and worried.”

“Yeah…okay. I’ll…just go then.” Zayn disappeared down the hall and Louis immediately felt like he had shrunk a size too small. His epic coming out speech had disintegrated in his head.

“Mom…I swear I didn’t…”

“I am disappointed that you don’t think you can trust me with this.” His mom said, sounding tired and Louis winced.

“We were gonna tell both of you this Christmas. It hadn’t been going on for long, mom. Just about two months. We didn’t want to bring this up until we are absolutely sure ourselves.”

“So, you are absolutely sure now?” His mom sat down and Louis sat down beside her.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure, love? Have you thought everything through?”

“Mom. I am not a child. I have!”

“I just…I just worry. You know what they say. Never have an office romance because things are gonna go sour if they end up bad. You two are in worse position. What will happen to this band if you break up? It is gonna be awkward and strange and the group chemistry is gonna die.”

“Why are you so sure that we are gonna break up?” Louis asked sternly.

“I am talking about the worst scenario, love.”

“We are going great. Things are going absolutely fantastic. I can’t see myself breaking up with him any time soon. Don’t worry about it mom.”

“That’s what you thought when you were with Hannah or El, Louis. Life is not a fairy tale. Bad things happen. People change and become someone you don’t think they could ever be. Do you ever see yourself dating Zayn Malik two years ago?”

“That doesn’t mean this is not gonna last. I am not just gonna sit here and float along. I am… we both are willing to try and make this work. We talk about it and we know this is not going to be easy but we lov… really like each other, like a lot. We will handle this mom. I am an adult now.”

“I know. I just worry about you.” She touched his face briefly and Louis swallowed the “Well don’t.” reply he wanted to spurt out.

“What do the other boys say about this? Or do they not know?”

“They are cool with it. As long as we are happy.”

“Yeah, as long as you are happy.” His mom said and leaned forward to give him a kiss on the forehead. “Get some sleep. I am sure you’ll have to deal with a lot of things tomorrow morning.”

Louis didn’t even want to think about it.

There were massive amounts of reporters crawling around their hotel the next day. Their publicist had cancelled the two interviews they had for the day but they were still debating on cancelling for their appearance on Craig Ferguson two days later since it was just a performance anyway. But the request for short interview from the show came in before the day ended.

Simon called them into a video conference. Just the five of them, one executive from Syco and Simon himself. No one else. Simon, as curt and blatant as usual, told them they had only two routes: came out as a couple or denied until their cheeks turned blue and started going out with some girls. He, of course, would prefer the second plan but he said it was up for Louis and Zayn to choose. He wasn’t very subtle in his ways of recounting the black lash they could receive if they ever decide to come out.

The boys remained silent and let Louis and Zayn do whatever they want, which gave Louis even a bigger headache because it was totally their responsibility now. Whatever happened to the band now rested on their shoulders and it was not an easy weight. They lied awake in their bed that night and Louis didn’t follow Zayn as he did usually when he went out to the balcony for a smoke. When he came back in and told Louis that he was going back to his room to clear his head for a while, Louis just nodded and kissed the cigarette stained lips good night.

Simon told them to accept the interview request from Craig Ferguson show which meant that they had only two days to decide what they wanted to do before going on air. Louis had never seen the hours passing by so fast. He sat unmoved in his bed looking at the digital clock on his phone. Six hours from now, they would be in the dressing room. Seven hours and they would be on air, either telling a truth or a lie to the whole nation… heck, the whole world even. He’s pretty sure Zayn was in the same position two rooms down. The other boys were probably pretty anxious too. They had let Louis know that whatever they decided, they would be there. Even if Simon or their label don’t like, they would stand by Louis and Zayn. Louis couldn’t had asked for three better friends.

The clock changed to “13:00” and Louis made up his mind. He was never good with mulling things over – always had been a “on-the-spot” kind of guy. He opened up his twitter and typed out a quick tweet before jogging over to Zayn’s room.

Zayn came on the third knock and had barely said anything before Louis shoved his phone at him. He had typed out **_“@zaynmalik Happy 2 month anniversary. Best two months of my life xx”_** but he hadn’t sent it out yet. It was all up to Zayn now. Louis had made his decision but he is gonna respect Zayn’s.

“Are you sure?” Zayn asked.

“Yes.” Louis nodded. “You are worth it.”

Zayn smiled for the first time in the past few days. It was barely there but a smile nonetheless. “We are gonna get into a shit load of trouble.”

“Don’t we always?”

“Yeah, yeah, we do.” He took Louis’ phone and pressed “Send” and that was it. Just a click of a button but everything is going to blow up and they are gonna have a lot coming up their ways but it is okay. This is worth it.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

** The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson 29th December 2013 **

**Craig:** Our second guest tonight is a boyband that had been making waves in the nation for the past few years and making even bigger waves in the past two days. We all know what we are talking about, right? Please welcome England’s biggest boyband – One Direction!

 **Craig:** How is everyone doing?

 **Liam:** Well enough. Thanks.

 **Craig:** Well, as nice and charming and handsome as you all are, I hope you don’t mind if I turn my attention to Zayn and Louis for the first few minutes? I mean, you can’t say you weren’t expecting that.

 **Louis:** Can’t say we haven’t.

 **Craig:** Well, what can I say? I am predictable as they come. So, Louis and Zayn, you naughty naughty boys! I have this whole questions written earlier, you know. I was about to attack and probe you from various angles until you gave me a straight answer about what is going on between you. And then, all my efforts were wasted when this happened. [pointed to the screen] Take a look at this everyone. So, Louis, you tweeted this about three or four hours ago, correct?

 **Louis:** Correct.

 **Craig** : It says “Happy 2 month anniversary. Best two months of my life”. Aww…that’s sweet, which was replied by Zayn with “Happy anniversary, babe. Love you.” Aww..now. I have this burning question that I really, really need to ask.

 **Zayn:** Go ahead.

 **Craig:** Is this really your anniversary today?

_[laughter]_

**Louis:** It is tomorrow but I took the liberty of wishing it today.

 **Craig:** Ah. I see. So, this had all started two months ago, is it? Weren’t you still on the tour by then?

 **Zayn:** Yeah. We were on our Australia tour.

 **Craig:** What happened then? You suddenly woke up and thought “Hey. Louis looks kinda good in those suspenders?”

 **Zayn:** [laugh] Uh. Not exactly. We just hanged out like we do usually but you know, found out that there is something between us and just…tried to…you know…go with what we are feeling.”

 **Craig:** I think your fans are quite confused because you had dated exclusively girls up until this point? I mean, there were rumors…very wild rumors but you suddenly coming out is quite a shock to everyone.

 **Louis:** I won’t say coming out – well, except for coming out as a couple because I don’t think it’s about being gay or bi or straight. It’s about who you fell in love with. If I say I am gay now, it somehow seemed to undermine the relationships I had with my ex-s who were lovely girls and I did have feelings for them. They were not some pretend relationship. It’s just that I have feelings for Zayn now and I decided to accept them. It doesn’t really matter that he is a guy.

 **Zayn:** We don’t really need labels.

 **Craig:** That was very well-spoken. So what about you boys? Are you finding it difficult with your bandmates in a romance?

 **Harry:** Not really. For us, I think, it doesn’t really matter who our friends are dating. I mean, it’s a bit weird when you think about it, but they were the same guys as before and nothing had really changed.

 **Niall:** But they make out in front of us all the time now.

 **Liam:** Just to gross us out.

 **Niall:** So, that’s bad. It’s like seeing your parents make out.

 **Craig:** : The cringeworthiness. I understand. So everything’s good with the band? And you will be touring Asia next, is it?

 **Liam:** Yes, we are going to Singapore on the 3rd and continued to Malaysia, Japan and Hong Kong, is it?

 **Harry:** Yeah, Hong Kong and then we would be coming back to UK to work on our 3rd album.

 **Craig:** Busy boys indeed. No wonder you had to turn to each other for some romance.

_[laughter]_

**Craig:** I think that’s all we have time for now. Are you guys ready for your performance?

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Things weren’t perfect. There were black lash from the media, from the fans who don’t like their favorite boys paired up even with each other, from the fans who like Louis but don’t like Zayn, who like Zayn but don’t like Louis, from the fans who like Louis better with Harry, who like Zayn better with Liam, from the parents who think their daughters shouldn’t be liking an abomination of a boy band. It was all nine kinds of crazy. But they survived.

The Asia tour was fun. They were at new places meeting new people which was a refreshing change. The tours were as tiring as ever but they did only one or two shows per city since the countries they were visiting to were quite small and before they knew it, they were back in London, talking with Simon over their third album. There was an awkward tension between Simon and Louis and Zayn but they talked over it with Simon clearly stating that he didn’t like what they had done but he had given them freedom from the start and not gonna take it away now. Louis thought that was all they could ask for.

Time passed and their 3rd album dropped and came more promotions and tours and interviews and travelling. There had been fights between Louis and Zayn – from verbal exchange of words because of small annoyance to driving down half way across the country out of burning anger. They had fought and squabbled and made up. But it is okay. They were still here anyway.

Louis’ 23rd birthday passed while they were in LA – doing a Christmas special for MTV before they flew back to UK to their respective families for the Christmas. He had been together with Zayn for over a year now and Louis thought maybe this could last. Maybe against all the hates and odds and improbabilities, they would last. They could make it.

Then comes the inevitable day. They all knew it was gonna happen one way or another but it hit them harder than they thought it ever could.

One Direction broke up on the 12th of July, 2015.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Everyone knew boy bands came with an expiry date. Louis is 24 now. Even Harry, the youngest, had just turned 21. The tweens and the teens who had been their first fans had moved on to more “mature” scene. The current tweens and teens have new shiny young bands to fawn over. It was expected. Their last album had been making mediocre splash in the charts and they knew their fame is going downhill. When Simon brought it up, they decided to go out with a bang. Get out when it is still good. There were no animosity between each other and with the management.

Still, Louis felt like the lump in his throat is gonna suffocate him until he couldn’t breathe when they finished their press conference in London. One last show in London O2 the next night and that’s it. One Direction would be history, until the reunion tour in about a decade.

Their last show was mad. They performed almost every song from their albums and sang until their throats hurt. Louis is pretty sure the last few songs weren’t even audible beneath all the screams and their pained vocals. When the show was over and Liam stepped up to thank the audience, Louis took a last look at all the people, some crying and some screaming and going insane and remembered the first time he performed here. About five years ago with the X-Factor tour. So young and naïve and wide-eyed at the massive stage and audience size. A lot had changed since then, for better and for worse and he cannot say he regret anything.

He managed to recite the speech he memorized earlier before the show with steady voice. “Thank you,” he said, looking over at the young and teary faces. “for giving me the best years of my life and my four best friends.” He looked over at Zayn. “And someone for me to love.”

When Harry pulled him into a fierce hug when Zayn took his place to say his final words to the fans, Louis didn’t even bother hiding the tears.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

They enjoyed the enormous freedom suddenly thrust upon them for about three months before it all became too much. The partying, the shopping, the hanging out and lazing around house, the going to shows and football matches, the vacations – everything became too boring and meaningless and Louis felt like he is lost.

Niall had gone back to Ireland for god-know-how-long and last time they spoke on the phone, he was trying to get together with Ed on his next album, maybe a small collaboration. Liam and Harry were down in LA, trying to go solo and Harry texted him last night that his new single is shaping up.

Zayn and he talked about trying to break the solo scene, Zayn more enthusiastic than him. Louis, from the start, had never wanted to be a solo artist. Even when he was auditioning for X-Factor, he was aiming more for a group thing. Not enough confidence and a whole lot of nerves didn’t really suit for a solo career, but he let Zayn known that he’d support him whatever he tried to do because he believed in Zayn.

The modeling contract was a bit of a surprise to both of them. It was from one of the photographers they had worked with for quite a few times. It was for the new Calvin Klein line and Zayn had the complete model profile that they wanted and when they approached him, Louis convinced Zayn that he should take it. He liked posing anyway.

The travelling was not something new to the both of them, except that this time, Zayn would be working while Louis was roaming the roads of Milan or Paris or wherever the shoot was. It got tedious after a while and Louis stopped tagging along with Zayn on his business trips. Their apartment in London was half empty most of the time and when things became too much, Louis would go out and party and make new friends with other people who are exactly like him – young people with too much money and time. His mom urged him to come back home but he refused – Doncaster hadn’t been his home for a long time. And when she asked what he planned to do now, he kept his mouth shut.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

They came down to LA for Harry’s newest single release which sounded nothing like One Direction songs with all the sex undertones and club themes but was nonetheless doing pleasantly well on the chart. It was the first time in months all five of them had been together again and the media was going crazy. It felt like old times.

Liam pulled him out to the balcony while Zayn was talking to one of the executives from some record companies and Harry and Niall were busy socializing with other celebrities.

“Everything okay with you and Zayn?” Liam didn’t even buffer his question and Louis winced.

“We are fine.”

“Really? Because you two had barely spoken a word since you’ve got here.”

“We just…we had a fight just before. It’s nothing.”

“Louis, I know you two fight a lot. God, remember when you walked out of the apartment and drove down to Doncaster at midnight that one time?”

“Yeah. He called the police.”

“He was almost crying and banging on my door at three in the morning. But you’ve been fighting a lot more Louis. I was just on the phone with Zayn like two weeks ago and he said you two weren’t talking. And now? Again?”

“It’s just. I don’t know.” Louis leaned onto the rail and gulped his wine. “He’s so fucking busy all the time and we hadn’t been spending a lot of time together lately. I mean, it was different when we were in the band because even when we were busy, we were busy together. And now, he’s off doing his things and I’m off doing my things and I don’t know.”

“Your things being the partying and being generally stupid? Louis, you are in The Sun every week with your shenanigans.”

“Look who swallowed a dictionary.” Louis snorted.

“I am serious. It had been eight months Louis. Haven’t you had enough partying and clubbings?”

“What else am I supposed to do?!”

“I don’t know. Come down here. Stay in the industry. Open a fashion line. Produce a TV show. Be an actor. I don’t know. You have money and talent and enough connections to do whatever you want.”

“What if I don’t want any of these? I am content with what I am doing now, Liam.”

“Are you sure because you don’t look happy to me. It is pretty obvious.”

“You are not me, Liam.” Louis said, mildly annoyed. Why is everyone up on his case lately? First his mom, then Zayn and now Liam. Every one of them saying he’s drifting along, he’s not doing enough. But fuck them all. He had enough money to live on. He can do whatever the fuck he wants.

“No but I know you.”

“Liam?” Danielle poked her head out into the balcony. “They want a group picture.”

“Okay.” Liam nodded before turning back to Louis. “Just…talk to Zayn, okay? He worried about you.”

“Has he been talking to you about me? And there’s nothing to worry about. Jeez. A little parties and I am suddenly Lindsey fucking Lohan or something.”

“Look,” Liam grabbed his arm as Louis prepared to leave. “We love you and we just want you to be happy.”

“You can start by leaving me alone.” Louis shrugged off his hand and stomped into the room.

When he looked back at the group pictures from that night, Louis realized he was the only one without a smile, and maybe he was imagining things but Zayn’s smile is strained too.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Louis woke up with a headache and a serious need to pee. He stumbled into the bathroom, dragged the guy sleeping over the toilet out of it and released his full bladder. Felicia knew how to throw the best parties, he idly thought. He splashed some water on his face, gargled some mouthwash and left the house. No paparazzi in sight. Ha. Maybe they finally got sick of him.

There were half unpacked suitcases in the doorway when he reached home. Shit. He took his phone out to see what date it is but it was flat dead.

“Hey, sorry. Totally lost track of time…actually days. Today’s 4th, is it? You did say you were coming back on the 4th.” He said to a half-naked Zayn in the kitchen, going in for a kiss.

“You smell like a bar.” Zayn gave him a chaste kiss and pushed him away. Louis frowned. “And today is the 5th.”

“Shit. Really? I swore I went down to Felicia’s on the 2nd.”

“So, that’s where have you been?” Zayn said calmly, too calm to be good. Louis knew enough about Zayn to know the signs of the calm before the storm.

“Look. I said I am sorry. We just…had some fun and lost track of times. You should come with me sometimes. You are not leaving again soon, are you?”

“Louis, you got to stop this.”

“Stop what?” Louis asked and gulped the orange juice straight from the bottle. Zayn probably went grocery shopping because when he left the house, the fridge was empty except for some rotten apples that he didn’t bother throwing out.

“This. All of this. Going out and coming back three days later. All the partying and drinkings and drugs and all the staying out. Hell, no one will even believe you live here with the state of the house.”

“I am not your goddamn housewife.” Louis snarled. “I am not gonna just stay in and keep the dinner warm for you.”

“And I am not asking you to. I am just… I just want you to do something with your life. Something good.”

“Just because you are my boyfriend doesn’t mean you can dictate how I live.”

“No but I can say when I think you are fucking wasting your life! You are 25 for god’s sake. You need to start growing up.”

“I am going out.” Louis gritted his teeth and said. “Just text me when you stop being an asshole.”

“Louis, wait.” Zayn grabbed his hand and said. “Let’s just talk about it.”

“About what? How useless I am? Well, I am sorry we all can’t be as perfect as you.”

“Goddamn it. You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Yeah? I am sorry but that’s all I can hear. From you, from my mum, from Harry. Why does everyone keep worrying over me like I am a fucking child? I know what I am doing.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. Let me go Zayn.”

“Where? Back to Felicia’s? Or is it John’s? Or Richie’s? Have you fucked any of them yet?”

“Fuck off!” Louis pulled his arm free strongly causing Zayn to almost topple over. “Don’t pull this shit on me. I am not the one rolling around with Anais Mali on a boat.”

“Are you serious with this shit again? How many times do I have to say it’s just tabloid stuff? You should know better than to believe what you read in the papers.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I am too busy wasting my life apparently.”

“Where did we go wrong, Louis?” Zayn asked, suddenly looking like he is 50 years old, weary and tired. “Why do we keep doing this?”

“You are the one who brought it up.”

“I think we need a break.”

_When they were still in One Direction, Louis and Niall sneaked out one night from their hotel in Hong Kong to see the night city. The traffic was pretty busy and Niall got hit by a speeding motorbike, lying unconscious on the unfamiliar road. Louis remembered the feeling – the initial panic, the helplessness, the choke in his throat, the wild beating of his heart._

It felt like just that time, only a million times worse.

“So you finally got tired of me?” He wished his voice didn’t sound this fragile.

“You know that’s not it Lou.” Zayn said and rubbed his hand over his face. “I am tired of everything. I am tired to getting home and not seeing you here. I am tired of fighting with you every time I see you. Hell, I am tired of you looking so relieved every time I have to leave.”

Louis kept quiet. The truth was he did feel like every minute he spent with Zayn lately had been like a ticking bomb. Every move he made felt like being scrutinized and he felt like he’s being caged. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t love Zayn. God, does he love him.

“Do whatever you want, Zayn.” Louis said and put his hand on the door handle. He needed to leave, before he broke down and started throwing away his dignity and begging Zayn to not leave, just stay here with him because it felt like he’s the only sane thing Louis had right now. “I’ll see you when I see you.”

He closed the door behind him and the sound echoed in the hallway. It felt like he just closed a chapter of his life – three years of his life. Turned into just mere memories. Just like that.

He thought of calling Richie but remembered his phone had died. Never mind. He’ll just drive straight down to him. Richie usually had something good and if he didn’t, he knew people who will hook him up. He needed something strong right now, something that will make him forget that he, Louis Tomlinson, had probably reached the lowest point in his life.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

_One and a Half Year Later:_

It is not easy picking up once you have broken down completely. Louis knew it first-hand. So he just smiled and said “Welcome back” to the young actress sitting across him, fresh back from rehab over her infamous OD. Her publicists specifically asked for Louis to take her on his show after she was out because they knew he would be sympathetically objective. He took it as an honor.

The red light came on and the audience stopped clapping. Louis hugged her and watched as her handler came and took her off the stage after they exchanged thank-you’s. His make-up lady came and touched up on his face. He needed to be back on air in five to introduce the band performing later. He went through his lines in his head. “We have some international pop stars to perform tonight. They had been selling out arena tours. Their first album is debuting next week and is expected to go straight to the top. They are young and fun and energetic. Ahh. I remembered how that used to feel.” The facts seemed so familiar and he smiled to himself, thinking about a similar band about seven years ago, fresh-faced and trying to break America, trying to break the world.

“Ready?” The camera man signaled him and Louis gave a nod back. The green light turned on and he pasted a smile on his face.

“Hello! And welcome back to Late Night Show with Louis Tomlinson!”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

The invitation is classy and succinct, white background with grey elegant letters.

“So, you finally did it.” Louis said into the phone.

“Yeah. You know I’ve been planning this for years.”

“And keep chickening out.” Louis laughed. “Thank god you finally got the courage or we will be ninety and you will be going nowhere.”

“Shut up. I am not calling you so you can make fun of me.”

“I just don’t want to miss the chance. So, why are you really calling me?”

“Will you…I want you to be my best man. One of my best men.”

“Oh. Erm. Wow. Of course, dickhead. I’ll be honored to.”

“Yeah? Awesome.”

“Wait. One of the best men? How many are you going for?”

“Four. Just four.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Will you be okay? I mean, with…”

“We will be fine. It was like two years ago. We even met at a party like a few months ago.”

“Yeah, I remember you telling me about it. But a three minute encounter at a stranger’s party is not the same as a whole wedding, Louis. Not to mention, all the rehearsals and the bachelor night I know you guys are planning.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Louis lied. “But we’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it. We are adults now.”

“Yeah, quite strange, isn’t it? I feel like it’s just last week I first met you with your Bieber hair and looking like an absolute douchebag.”

“No one can have curls like you, Styles.”

“Fucking got that right. So, when will I be expecting you here?”

“Whenever you need me to.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Zayn looked good in all black. Louis had known that fact for years but still he felt his breath caught when he got out of the cab at the hotel Harry booked for them in Hawaii. Zayn was there, casually lounging in his black tanks and jeans. And of course, with his latest girlfriend besides him.

“Louis! My favorite talk show host!” Niall came out of absolutely nowhere and pulled him into a hug.

“You only say that because I took your pathetic ass on my show.” Louis smiled and hugged back.

“Shut up. I know you and Jimmy Fallon were fighting over me. And I came onto your show instead because we used to sing together or something.”

“Asshole,” Louis said into his shoulder. “Miss you.”

“Miss you too big girl. Liam should be here soon too. Your flight times were about the same.”

“He’ll probably be grumpy as hell. His twins are nightmares, let me tell you.”

“Too many babysitting encounters?” Niall laughed.

“You could bloody say that.”

“Hey,” a quiet voice said behind and Louis let go of Niall but not before he could feel a slight tense in him.

“Hey,” He turned around and said to Zayn with his best winning smile. He could do this. “How have you been?”

“Really well. You?”

“Yeah, great.”

This is so awkward and a little bit painful because this is the boy…the man he had once shared his world with.

“We…I…you know what? Just come here.” Louis pulled a surprised Zayn into a hug. He still felt the same.

“Let’s not be weird, okay?” He said quietly. “You said we are still friends, right?”

“Yeah,” He couldn’t see but he could feel Zayn’s smile. “We were friends before we were…us. We’ll always be friends, bro.”

“Yeah,” Louis agreed and pulled away from the hug. Zayn still hadn’t changed his cologne. “So, enjoying Hawaii?”

“Yeah, the view is awesome. You should wait until the sunset. Man, it will kill you.” Niall said with a relieved smile.

“Can’t wait. But I need to check in now and get some sleep before tonight’s rehearsal.”

“Ok, we’ll let you go but we are coming to you when Liam’s got here. We got the most epic bachelor party to plan.”

“True that.” Louis smiled and gave a slight wave before proceeding to the counter. He even smiled at Mia, Zayn’s girlfriend before getting his keys. He could do this.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

“How the fuck did you pull this off?” Harry asked through a wild laugh as the twelve pairs of strippers they hired danced and rubbed against each other on stage while the bartender wheeled in the enormous keg they managed to order from LA.

“If you don’t notice Harry, we are all kind of famous and rich.” Louis shouted into Harry’s ear.

“Damn, are you sure they won’t start having sex on the stage?” Harry ignored Louis’ statement and asked, eyes not averting from the couples on stage – four straight, four lesbians and four gay couples, all scantily clothes and moving sensually against each other. Louis Tomlinson knew how to plan a fucking party.

“All part of the performance. Now, c’mon. The keg waits. I’ve even ordered some special tropical beers for you.”

“Oh god. Don’t kill me before my wedding. Indrina’s gonna kill you if I don’t turn up.”

“Come on, Harry. Last night as a free man. Live it up!”

“It is ironic coming from you, Liam.”

“Whatever, don’t be a pussy now. Harry! Harry! Harry!” They started chanting and Harry shook his head before taking over the keg.

Louis laughed as Harry worked the keg like a champion. He did promise Indrina he’ll return Harry in one piece for the wedding. Maybe after the keg and tequila line up with the strippers, he will think about ending the party.

“He’s gonna choke.” Zayn came up from behind him and said. Louis disregarded the closeness between them two.

“Have you met Harry? Boy’s probably born with a keg.”

“Yeah. We did pull an awesome party though.”

“The most epic one in years. Let me tell you. This is gonna go down in legend.”

“Yeah, alright.” Zayn laughed. “So, how’s everything with you? Haven’t got a chance to talk to you during the rehearsal.”

“Good, I guess and yeah, Annie was going psycho during the rehearsal. I thought she’s gonna strangle Harry when he didn’t get his vows ready. Saw you on Vogue in the magazine shop by the way.”

“The one with the golden hair? God, I look like an idiot in that shoot. I swear, those photographers don’t know the difference between creative and plain old crazy.”

“Nah. It suits you.” Louis said honestly. “Brings out your tan and wow, that’s the gayest thing I’ve ever said.”

“Must be the beer.”

“Must be. How’s Mia?”

Zayn was silent for a while. “Good. Want me to meet her parents.”

“Nice. She must really like you then. How long had you been dating? Two months?”

“One and a half. But yeah, she said her parents had heard a lot about me.”

“You are practically a household name. Of course, they had. So, gonna meet your future in-laws?”

“Not so sure about that.” Zayn replied and Louis is not sure whether he meant about the meeting part or the in-laws part.

“Who knew Harry was gonna be one of the first to get settled.” Zayn said after a few minutes. “I mean, we were all expecting Liam but damn, Harry moved fast.”

“Yeah. He never seemed like it. Remember that time when he tried to bring back two girls and it exploded all over twitter?”

“Yeah and he seemed too smug the next day at the breakfast too. That bastard.”

Yeah, it was the day we went out in New York and you bought us matching watches. Louis thought to himself.

“It is nice. Being able to talk to you again I mean. I do miss you.”

“Yeah, me too.”

There was a riot from the middle of the room and Louis looked over to see Harry pushing over the keg into the crowd. Beer were flowing on the floor and people were slipping all over.

“God, we are gonna get kicked out.”

“We’ll definitely go down in legend then. C’mon!” They joined the crowd dancing on the beer soaked floor, slipping and falling down every now and then. Liam and Niall started throwing icings from the enormous penis-shaped cake Louis special-ordered and soon there was a full on food fight. Louis shook off the sugary treat from his hair and shoved a handful of cream down Zayn’s shirt when he was focused on attacking Liam.

“I thought we were on the same side!”

“There is no same side. Every man’s for his own baby!”

“Oh, is that so?” Zayn turned and shoved his hand full of cream into Louis’ face and they both ended up on the floor, laughing like lunatics among all the cakes and beer. Before he got up to gang up on Harry with Zayn, Louis squashed down the thoughts of _what could have been._

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

It was a beautiful wedding. Louis’ and the other boys’ families flew in the morning and the moms cried while the dads pretended to not cry. Louis stood next to Harry watching his friend saying the vows he had forgotten just yesterday and thought back of the days he first met this boy with a smile full of sunshine. He did choke up a bit when the bride and the groom kissed because damn it, it is his boy, taking another big step in his life and growing up a little bit more. Zayn elbowed him and Louis gave him a sheepish smile. He looked over into the audience and saw his mom looking at Zayn and him and sighed. If Mia wasn’t here, he is 100% sure his mom will be doing everything in her power to get them back together, which probably includes locking them in the storage room or something. He knew never to under estimate his mom’s crazy.

“Where did you learn how to dance?” Louis asked as Harry asked his hand after his dance with Indrina. “Never knew you can jazz.”

“Crash course. Ask and I’ll cut off your dick.”

“Indrina made you take a jazz course. Wow. Priceless.”

“No, my mum did, which is worse because I can’t say no to her.”

“Well, the lessons did pay off.” Louis said as he swayed along with Harry. “You can now dance and sing. The next JT.”

“Shut up.” Harry said and put him into a hug as the song changed into a slow one. “Thanks for being here.”

“What are you talking about? You are insane if you think I’d miss this.”

“Yeah? Zayn told me you cried.”

“Traitor. I didn’t. Just a bit teary because your vows were boring.”

“Please. We all know you are just a big girl. How are you two by the way?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me this?” Louis sighed. “We are okay. We are friends. We talked.”

“Yeah? Good. Are you happy Louis?”

“I think so. I am not unhappy at least.”

“You will find someone and you are gonna be happy. You deserve it.”

“I hope so.”

They danced until the song ended and Harry decided to go to his mom for another dance. But not before Louis tiptoed to kiss him on the head. “Proud of you.”

“I am proud of you too.” Harry said with a small smile. “I love you.”

“Go tell that to your wife, but yeah. Love you too.”

“You two are getting sappy. Must be the age.” Liam, who was near them, said as Harry stuck his tongue out at him and left.

“Says you. Aren’t you the one openly crying earlier?”

“I am manly enough to admit it.”

“Whatever,” Louis laughed. “Where is Niall?”

“Last I saw him, he was chatting up that bridesmaid.”

“Indrina’s cousin? Wow, didn’t she just fly in this morning? He moves fast.”

“Yeah. Good for him though. Zayn was looking for you just now, by the way.”

“Oh. Where is he?”

“At the cake table, I think.”

Louis gave Liam a half hug before leaving to the table where the wedding delicacies were placed. He caught a sight of Mia dancing with one of the Malik’s sisters and wondered why Zayn wasn’t on the dance floor.

“Hey, heard you are looking for me?” He said to Zayn who was sipping champagne and looking over to the beach from the railing.

“All I said was where is Louis.” Zayn said with a smile.

“Ouch,” Louis said playfully and took a champagne glass himself. He had enough cake last night so he avoided the big white wedding cake. He remembered Harry looking slightly green when he was cutting the cake earlier.

“Well, since you are here anyway, you don’t make bad company, I guess.”

“Why are you not on the dance floor?” Louis asked.

“Not my thing. Like you don’t know that.”

“You danced at Liam’s.” Louis pointed out.

“Yeah, I’ll probably go out later. The view is amazing.”

“Yeah, gorgeous.” Louis said and leaned on the railings besides Zayn, looking over the blue sky and almost green ocean. It really is a gorgeous day for a wedding.

“Remember when we came down here for our 1 year anniversary?” Zayn suddenly said. “And it rained. All the fucking days while we were here.”

“And we got sick of being inside so we went out in the rain, yeah.”

“My first kiss in the rain. I told you that and you pushed me into the mud because it was too cheesy or something.”

“You were always cheesy.” Louis said and looked down at the watch he decided to wear this day. He allowed himself to not analyze over why he was always carrying this one watch with him everywhere he went.

“Is that?” Zayn pointed to the watch.

“Yeah.”

“We did have something good.”

“Power couple of 2014. Remember that? I think it was People who came up with it.”

“Doesn’t matter. I mean, people can think what they want. What mattered is…was what we felt about each other.”

“I guess so.” Louis agreed and took a small sip of his champagne, not knowing what else to say.

“I still love you.” Zayn blurted out and Louis looked over at him in shock.

“Zayn?”

“Never fall out of love with you actually. I just…keep thinking what if I return that one phone call.”

Louis recalled the phone call he made to Zayn, desperate and angsty, just after his fight with his mom over his arrest on drugs in possession. His mom bailed him out, told him it’s either his family or rehab and he called Zayn that night, leaving about five different messages, asking him to take him back, calling him every foul name under the sun for leaving him alone, blaming him. Zayn didn’t call him back. Two days later, he checked into Rehab.

“Wouldn’t change anything Zayn.” Louis told him. “I was at the bottom of the bin back then. God, if you call back, I’d probably beg you to come take me back and it’d do no one any good.”

“Yeah, still I should have been there with you.”

“I can’t say I didn’t wish you were there but I am sort of glad you didn’t because some things, you have to face alone.”

“You are a lot stronger than you gave yourself credit for Louis. And just…I am sorry I didn’t have enough patience to stay through with you.”

“Hey,” Louis took Zayn’s hand and said slowly. “We were still young back then. And if anything, it was my problems, my faults. Let’s just say we are both sorry and move on, shall we?”

“Yeah, move on.” Zayn sighed. “I’m glad you called me up first. God, I heard about you going into rehab and coming out and you had no idea how badly I want to come down and see you. I did call your mom saying if I should come see you.”

“Yeah, I know. She told me. And she told me that she said it was not a very good idea.”

“Yeah. I think I don’t know when it will be a good idea, I guess. I mean, when you get your show, I thought maybe this is it. I can call you and clear things up. I don’t know why I didn’t. Too scared, I guess.”

“It did take me a long time to call you up if it’s any consolation.”

He called Zayn about two months after he got his talk show. They talked for a long time, cleared things up and Louis remembered hanging up the phone with a clear conscience and a heavy heart because while he was glad he and Zayn could still be friends, he also knew he could never be over this boy and so much for closure.

“Like I said, I am glad you did.”

Zayn pulled him into a hug and Louis immediately put his arms around him. Here it is safe and warm and familiar and not his to savor. But he did anyway. Zayn pulled back after a couple of seconds. “I should go.”

“Yeah. Go and dance with your mom.”

“She won't let me after I stepped on her foot twice the last time.”

“Ouch,” Louis winced his face in sympathy.

“Something’s never gonna change, I guess.”

“Loser,” Louis laughed but it was cut off short when Zayn suddenly put his lips around his. The warm lips with their familiar textures moved over Louis’ and he allowed it until he realized what he was doing.

“Zayn, no.” He pushed Zayn off to arm’s length. “What are you doing?”

“For old time’s sake?” Zayn said, uncertain of his own voice.

 _Damn it Zayn._ Louis thought. _I was doing so well until this point._ “Old time’s sake then.” Before he could think better, Louis pulled Zayn back in. This could be the very last time and damned if Louis is gonna let this go. He held Zayn tight and tried to pour everything of his being into this last kiss.

When they parted, Zayn’s lips were red and looked chewed and Louis’ mouth is sored but it was worth it. Zayn ran a finger through his hair, fixed his bowtie and said “I should really go.”

“Yeah, you should.” Louis nodded and watched him go.

“Hey Zayn,” he said on a whim.

“Yeah?”

“For what it’s worth, I still love you too.”

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Louis loved rainy days, especially when it is his day off. His studio apartment was nice and cozy enough to stay in with a cup of his favorite tea and a movie or a book. He did hope that it wasn’t raining in Greece where Harry and Indrina had went off for their honeymoon though.

A knock came and he growled before pulling himself off the couch, wondering who would even come visit him in this weather. He kept praying for it to not be someone from work while he was opening the door and came face to face with a familiar figure. A soaked familiar figure.

“Zayn! Didn’t know you were in town. God, you are soaked. Come in.”

“Yeah, didn’t bring an umbrella when I left.”

“You drove down here? Must have not heard your car under all these rain. Do you want a towel? Bathroom is on that way.”

“Wait. Louis. Just don’t.”

“What?”

“I came here to say something.”

“It can wait. You are gonna catch a cold.”

“No, it can’t. Let’s try this again.”

“Try what?”

“This. Us.”

It must have been the rain that’s affecting Louis’ ears because Zayn couldn’t have said what he just said.

“I am sorry?”

“Can we give it one more chance? I can’t…I can’t just let you go like this. I’ve been thinking a lot and I just can’t. We did have our problems but maybe we can try again? I swear I will try to be more understanding. God, I’ll do anything I can.”

“Zayn. I.”

“I broke up with Mia. No, not because of you. Don’t look like that. It’s just…it’s unfair to her if I keep stringing her along when I am clearly crazy over someone else.”

“I.” Louis obviously had lost his ability to form a proper sentence. “I don’t know. You are dripping onto my rug. It’s Persian.”

“Wow. Priorities.” Zayn said and Louis winced.

“Sorry. Sorry. I can’t think straight. Zayn. You have to understand. You can’t just turn up out of the blue and say those things and not expect me to freak out.”

“You said yourself you still love me.”

“I do. I just…I am scared.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know. I just am. God, Zayn. What if we fuck it up? Again?”

“Then, at least we’ll fuck it up together. Better than never knowing.”

“Together, huh?”

“Yeah, together.”

A smile broke out on Louis’ face slowly. He looked at the man standing in front of him and saw the 16-year old boy shaking his hand when One Direction was formed, the 17-year old boy who would pull him hard into a hug every time they did a good performance, the 18-year old boy who slept on his shoulder on a twelve hour plane ride, the 19-year old boy who would smile back at him on stage, the 20-year old boy who kissed him under the blanket in the secrecy of their bedroom, the 21-year old boy who kissed him on the stage in front of the whole nation while Liam held a mistletoe over their heads, the 22-year old boy who held him tight after their band break up, the 23-year old boy who smiled like a kid when they got their first dog, the 24-year old boy who kept drifting away, the 25-year old boy looking like a stranger on fashion magazines. 

But after everything, it was still his Zayn.

“We are gonna get into so much trouble.” Louis said, grabbing Zayn’s wet and cold hands.

“Don’t we always?” Zayn broke out into a bright smile and replied easily. 

And when they kissed, Zayn’s lips were cold and the hands embracing Louis are dripping with water. But it had never been more perfect.

Later that night, as he smiled down at a sleeping Zayn before closing his own eyes, Louis thought it is completely okay to take this chance. His mom once said life is not a fairy tale and it’s true. There is not gonna be a happily ever after. They are gonna fight over stupid things. The road is not gonna be always smooth. They will probably fuck things up again. But like Zayn said, they will at least be together. And honestly, Louis would rather make mistakes with someone he loves than not make them on his own. Because at the end of the day, all you can do is to fill up your life with every misery and miracle you can manage and it is better if you do it with someone who is worth it.


End file.
